Steps to Intimacy: Non-resistance to “What Is”

What’s in our way of moving forward

or growing a deeper intimacy?

Resistance!

Resistance is our fight against reality or “what is” in this moment. We are unwilling to accept things as they are. We would prefer that it be different. We want it my way. We may withdraw and sulk, burrowing ourselves deeper into the hole of resistance until it seems that there is no way out. We are at an impasse, blocked, stuck.

Resistance is like a logjam obstructing the flow of life

Or we may dig in our heels to get it my way. Our resistance provokes counter resistance like a log jam setting up a riff of white water. As the jam gets larger, the run of water may become more restricted until it is dammed up altogether. Life comes to a standstill when its movement is obstructed. Our resistance or “No” to life slows and eventually stops its free flow until a new course is found.

We pay a price for struggling against reality. How much is it costing us? How do we feel? How do our reactions affect us and impact others? Does it bring us closer together or create a wider separation?

What is at the root of resistance? A need that is seemingly threatened and the resulting fear which raises the question

Am I going to be OK?

Am I OK?

Am I doing or being OK for you?

The issues in most cases originated in an early childhood story. They are hidden deep below our conscious mind. It takes courage and honesty to dig for them and bring them to light. We may have to review the story attached to the issue. But ultimately and as soon as we can, we want to feel the feelings without judgement and let the story go. When the feelings are felt right through we are freed of that particular feeling. And we can incrementally move our feelings to a happier place.

Feelings are just a vibrational energy. We can raise this energy consciously by shifting our attention to thoughts that are harmonious with what we want. Our goal is to align our vibrational energy with Source. This is the vibration of Knowing, Joy, Appreciation, Love, Freedom, Empowerment. It is from this place that our dreams come into being. This is the place of non-resistance, of flow and of loving “what is”.

Another approach which avoids going into the memory banks of our past is to bring ourselves Fully Present to This Moment. We can ask of the perceived threat or fear “Is it true?” And in this moment, right here, right now we can notice

I AM a survivor.

I AM OK.

I AM doing/being OK.

All is well in this moment. We can allow “what is” in this moment.

In the interests of intimacy and of joining we might relax our grip on my way and choose again. Being present to our resistance frees us up to make another choice. A choice for non-resistance and for freedom of flow. We might choose to say “YES” to “what is”. And if “what is” isn’t what we want, we can be proactive, marshalling positive feelings to align ourselves with our heart’s desire. In this way we say “YES” to life.

Tags: intimacy, loving "what is", non-resistance, resistance