What is the impact of your communication?
Are you appreciating or attacking?
Is your communication setting the other up as a target?
Through communication, be it verbal or non-verbal, we express who we are. It is how we share or make common what we think and how we feel. Communication is the opening and passageway between those engaged in a conversation. Will we make clear the way to another’s heart and mind? Or is our communication veiled, or muddy, or deceiving, or defensive?
When we accept that our communication is the response we bring forth from another, then the way in which we communicate enters a whole new arena. With this understanding we can examine the response for what it tells us about our self. Where does that response lie within us and in what and how we communicated? A defensive reaction may point to a belief we are protecting or presenting in an aggressive way. If the response is less than neutral we have an opportunity to choose again. How could we say it more openly? With clarity? With honesty? With greater vulnerability? How could we convey what we want to with kindness?
Transparent communication allows us to be seen, to shine forth. It is the hallmark of intimacy. Without it we have dimmed our light and are not expressing who we truly are. Our message may be contaminated by fear, by a need to please or gain approval, or by a lack of knowledge. We need to get that message out on the table first and look at our fear, our needs, our ignorance. How are we covering them through less than transparent communication? Our vulnerability in revealing these underlying layers will begin to bring clarity to what and how we are presenting. And will allow us greater closeness with those we are communicating with.
Communication that is direct and to the point, timely, easy to understand and take in, and delivered in a respectful way will land softly on the mark. A heart to heart conversation will be able to unfold. Open, honest, and intimate exchange is more certain when we and the way in which we express our self can be seen through.
Tags: communication, defensiveness, intimacy, vulnerability
